Fitz Kreiner (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rereremembered) wrote2019-03-07 10:07 am
rereremembered) wrote2019-03-07 10:07 am
From Tumblr:
quick reblog this with something dumb fitz kreiner has done
- tripped over his own trousers in a fight to the death [vs not!Elvis] and fallen on his face
- Hechose millennia of slowly falling apart and emotional insanity instead of the certainty of death uh, fell down a hole.
- forgot how elevators work
- Got mugged in a San Francisco alleyway for his chocolate. By a unicorn.
- Shagged an alternate version of Sam[antha Jones, Eight's original novel companion] who smoked and did drugs
- Joined Faction Paradox because he was bored.
- drank wine because he thought the world was ending (and was vindictively happy just because it was probably expensive)
- tried to shag a cartoon only to discover she had a literal Barbie crotch
- Hit awkwardly on Iris Wildthyme. Hit awkwardly on the Doctor. Probably hit awkwardly on most of the known universe.
- Dressed up in a sixties tux to cosplay James Bond at a space station with a very eighties star trek aesthetic, was judged for his lack of fashion sense, then put out a cigarette on his own hand because smoking was banned and he had no ashtray.
- Also went fuck it and used Horatio Sponge as a fake identity on the basis of he was probably wasn’t going to be believed so why even try to be discreet?
- Also cheerfully crawled around naked on a leash (okay the space poodles made him do it, but unlike Anji he was clearly having fun)
- Fled down the side of a volcano on a purple sparkle pony while being chased by giant owls and momentarily forgot to panic because he was too busy fantasising about shagging Iris and the Doctor
- didn’t he wear underwear with little carrots on them one time
- - One big carrot. on the fly.
- Got high on alien drugs at least twice
- Tried to convince a computer simulation to actually jettison him into space
- Stole a German soldier’s uniform and decided it was a good idea to wear it in the middle of World War 2
- Tried to wear a monocle and failed miserably
- Flirted with an alien queen
- Flirted with a Faction Paradox agent
- Flirted with a Elder Thing
- Fell down a hole in a cave ten seconds after the Doctor fell down the same hole & subsequently told Fitz not to fall into it
- Went undercover on an alien world as Frank Sinatra, bad accent and everything.
- Tried to get one up on a deranged Chinese Communist about to take him prisoner by stuffing a load of the mind-power-granting narcotics littering the ground around him into his mouth and growing to a thousand feet high, not thinking that the other guy would notice, immediately do the same, and proceed to beat seven shades of shit out of him.
- Crashed a bus staring a girl
- Gambled away the fate of Bottle Earth by losing at rock paper scissors
- cut through a bundle of wires in his hotel room because he was feeling paranoid and thought they were a listening device, later discovered they were holding a chandelier up
- went on a trek through Siberia in 1894 because he had a crush on a boy
- Fell off a cliff because he was showing off.
- Made the hallucination of his girlfriend mad at him by repeating the same (bad) pun twice.
- Spent several days lost in the TARDIS library reading Greek classics.
- Joined an escort service and got brainwashed and kidnapped
- Dumbest thing Fitz Kreiner’s ever done: climbed into a space/timeship with an alien stranger and ran away
- tripped over his own trousers in a fight to the death [vs not!Elvis] and fallen on his face
- He
- forgot how elevators work
- Got mugged in a San Francisco alleyway for his chocolate. By a unicorn.
- Shagged an alternate version of Sam[antha Jones, Eight's original novel companion] who smoked and did drugs
- Joined Faction Paradox because he was bored.
- drank wine because he thought the world was ending (and was vindictively happy just because it was probably expensive)
- tried to shag a cartoon only to discover she had a literal Barbie crotch
- Hit awkwardly on Iris Wildthyme. Hit awkwardly on the Doctor. Probably hit awkwardly on most of the known universe.
- Dressed up in a sixties tux to cosplay James Bond at a space station with a very eighties star trek aesthetic, was judged for his lack of fashion sense, then put out a cigarette on his own hand because smoking was banned and he had no ashtray.
- Also went fuck it and used Horatio Sponge as a fake identity on the basis of he was probably wasn’t going to be believed so why even try to be discreet?
- Also cheerfully crawled around naked on a leash (okay the space poodles made him do it, but unlike Anji he was clearly having fun)
- Fled down the side of a volcano on a purple sparkle pony while being chased by giant owls and momentarily forgot to panic because he was too busy fantasising about shagging Iris and the Doctor
- didn’t he wear underwear with little carrots on them one time
- - One big carrot. on the fly.
- Got high on alien drugs at least twice
- Tried to convince a computer simulation to actually jettison him into space
- Stole a German soldier’s uniform and decided it was a good idea to wear it in the middle of World War 2
- Tried to wear a monocle and failed miserably
- Flirted with an alien queen
- Flirted with a Faction Paradox agent
- Flirted with a Elder Thing
- Fell down a hole in a cave ten seconds after the Doctor fell down the same hole & subsequently told Fitz not to fall into it
- Went undercover on an alien world as Frank Sinatra, bad accent and everything.
- Tried to get one up on a deranged Chinese Communist about to take him prisoner by stuffing a load of the mind-power-granting narcotics littering the ground around him into his mouth and growing to a thousand feet high, not thinking that the other guy would notice, immediately do the same, and proceed to beat seven shades of shit out of him.
- Crashed a bus staring a girl
- Gambled away the fate of Bottle Earth by losing at rock paper scissors
- cut through a bundle of wires in his hotel room because he was feeling paranoid and thought they were a listening device, later discovered they were holding a chandelier up
- went on a trek through Siberia in 1894 because he had a crush on a boy
- Fell off a cliff because he was showing off.
- Made the hallucination of his girlfriend mad at him by repeating the same (bad) pun twice.
- Spent several days lost in the TARDIS library reading Greek classics.
- Joined an escort service and got brainwashed and kidnapped
- Dumbest thing Fitz Kreiner’s ever done: climbed into a space/timeship with an alien stranger and ran away